Monday, December 13, 2010

The real spirit of Christmas

We in the church, and especially in American culture, do not do lament well.
We like our happy endings.
We are uncomfortable being in the vicinity of pain.
This is compounded at times by the Christmas season.  Whether it be the ads that play on tv, the holiday themed movies, the family gatherings, even, at times I must admit, our worship services around advent, we have a tendency to accentuate the positive.  Now their is nothing wrong in celebrating the joy of the Christmas season, except when it implies that everyone else has to feel the same way:

No, you can’t dread getting ready for the big family gathering...get in the Christmas spirit.
No, you can’t dread trudging through the shopping malls...be a happy giver.
And, above all else, don’t bring down our parties by expressing grief.  Don’t mention that you just don’t feel into it.  Don’t mention how tears seem to be just below the surface.  Don’t mention how much you feel the loss of your wife, husband, parent, child or friend.  Just let it go unsaid.
When we go to scripture, we, myself included, gravitate toward the Gospels.  We want to hear the good news- that Jesus loved us, that Jesus died for us, that we have a place in our Father’s house.  That indeed is good news, but it doesn’t necessarily mean eternal happiness and bliss.
There is a false gospel that gets preached all too often.  It’s one that says if we are just faithful enough, only good things will happen.  It implies that the world works as some kind of cosmic reward system where nothing bad happens to believers and where God punishes those without enough faith.
This kind of a message ruins people’s faith; it destroys lives.
It implies that when tragedy happens, you are either not being faithful, or God is just cruel.
Cannot accept this fake gospel-  this cheap alternative to what God has revealed to us.
That is that “God is with us.”
In our pain, suffering, etc.
And thus, our tradition, the one that extends beyond our contemporary culture’s tendency to deny or deflect from pain and suffering, actually gives it prime place in our scriptures:
Psalm 6:4-7
4 Turn, LORD, and deliver me;
   save me because of your unfailing love.
5 Among the dead no one proclaims your name.
   Who praises you from the grave?
 6 I am worn out from my groaning.
   All night long I flood my bed with weeping
   and drench my couch with tears.
7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
   they fail because of all my foes.
This ancient prayer calls out for deliverance.  In the Christmas season, we proclaim that that deliver has arrived.  When, God saw our ancestor’s pain, God came to earth in the form of Jesus to be with them.  Jesus came as God immanuel-  or, God with us.
Jesus wept-  with and for-  us.
Jesus suffered-  with and for-  us.
Jesus loved-     with and for-   us.
This is the good news, the real Gospel.
If you are someone who still is feeling an acute since of grief, I want to tell you that God has come, and continues to come, to be with us.  And he’s coming to be with you exactly as you are.  No forced smiles.  No need to cover up the running mascara.  No need to fake any emotion.  All you need is to be; to dwell within God’s loving arms.


If you’ve emerged from that most sensitive stage, or if you are caring for someone who is experiencing grief, I’d encourage you to follow the example of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Go, and be with them.  Not as someone to take their pain away.  Not as someone determined to wake them up out of their grief.   No, just go and be with them.  Demonstrate Christ’s love by sitting with them, holding them, giving space as needed.  But be present.  That is the greatest gift you can give this Christmas season.

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